Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009 Wrap Up

Oooooh 2009 what an amazing year you have been! Every thought so many things have happened this year it feels as thought we just celebrate the end of 2008. January 2009 stated out on a quest to start our family. I was crazy with tracking temperatures, taking ovulation prediction tests (in the bathroom at EHOB and work), and being neurotic BUT the last week of January we conceived Liam. On February 16, 2009 i found out i was pregnant. I cannot ever put into words the feelings i felt of that day, it truly was when my life had started changing forever. March 2009 was a full month of morning sickness!!!! or should i say all day/midnight sickness. I lived this month of Ramen noodles and toaster strudles. April brought the second trimester and feeling semi "normal" again. May 2009 Alex and i celebrated our first year of marriage with an amazing dinner at St. Elmo's steak house. June 2009 we found out we were having a BOY....the rest of the month i shopped for anything and everything BLUE! July 2009 we painted his nursery, assembled his furniture and I started growing and growing and growing. August 2009 we traveled to Pennsylvania for our baby shower. It was a wonderful time but a LONG drive when you are 8 months pregnant. September brought pains and the uncomfortable part of the pregnancy, i was cooked and wanted little man out! October 2009 was the month that changed our lived forever. On October 22 Liam Alexander came into the world weighing 7 pounds 7 ounces and 20 and a quarter inches long. November was graced with visited from both the Hinkley's and the Pawlowski's it was wonderful for everyone to be able to come visit and spend time with Mr. Liam. Liam also celebrated his first Thanksgiving that month and learned to smile in response to Alex and I. December has been so much fun. Liam is more alert, more active, and loves to smile..he is such a happy baby. We spent his first Christmas at home and Grandma H, Pop, and Uncle Matt come to be with us. We has a wonderful time and Liam got some great presents! He is a very lucky boy!

As 2010 approaches in a few hours i am so excited to see what it has in store. It should be a wonderful year with all of Liam's "firsts" such as rolling over, sitting up, talking, crawling, walking ... i honestly cannot wait!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Eve

Five years ago today he asked "Will You" and i said "I Will"...Happy Engagement Anniversary Hubby! I cannot believe it has been five years since Alex and I got engaged, it honestly feels like such a short time ago. In five years so much has changed. We moved to State College..lived in two different apartments during our time there, both graduated from Penn State, got married, moved to Indiana, bought a house and a car, got a second cat (Nigel), and had a son. It has been an amazing ride.

Today is Christmas Eve and the beginning of starting some of our family traditions. We are having the same dinner as we did last year beef tenderloin, asparagus, and mashed potatoes. Then we are getting holiday drinks (mmmm starbucks) and driving around to look at Christmas lights. Tomorrow morning we are having monkey bread for breakfast and my parents will be here in the last morning :-) Yeah!! I can't wait for Liam's first Christmas...i can't imagine how many pictures we are going to take!

Liam's Weekend

Last weekend we got video happy and took so many of Liam. Here is a mash up of the best moments.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Two Months

Dear Liam,
Holy guacamole batman you are two months old already. Goodness can we please slow time down a bit you are getting to old too fast! This month has been so much fun and you have changed so much. You when from the newborn sleep, eat, poop phase to sleep, semi alert, eat, poop phase to alert, smiling, laughing, cooing, eating no devouring, pooping like a champ phase.

This month you had your for Thanksgiving. Grandma H, Pop, and Uncle Matt came to celebrate with us. You had a great time and sat on Mommy's lap during dinner.

You and I also took our first trip our into the real world together. It took Mommy two ours of mentally preparing to go. Once i finally got your in your car seat and bundled up i opened the garage door and it was pouring. Ugh! Well i decided to brave it anyway and off we went to Target. You did awesome and just looked around amazed at all the lights and colors.

We also went to a Christmas Party/Cookie Exchange at work. All the ladies were so excited to finally meet you. One of the funnies days that i look back on as a first time mom was he morning you were screaming your head off, Nigel was drinking my coffee and Kinsey as trying to climb the Christmas tree...all i could do was laugh and i did. This month you grew very fond of your jungle play mat (so did Kinsey and Nigel but that is a story in and of itself) you love looking at Mallory the Monkey and talking to her, the plastic parrot that spins, and of course the butterflies.

You also love to look around! You no lover want to snuggle with Mommy after a bottle you fuss and fuss until i sit you up so you can look around.

Your bouncy chair is still our saving grace, you love it! At times you will just whine until i sit you in it and then you are as happy as a clam.

This month you also learned to smile in response to your Dad and I which just melts me each and every time you do it. The first time you did it we got it on tape and i swear i have watched it 50 times and still laugh at stinking cute.

You also learned to laugh which is adorable. You get such a kick out of being called a goober, Daddy tickling your face with a wash cloth, and making the sound num num num. You also found your voice, in a good way, you love to talk. You talk to your toys and to me all the time. You also found your hands! At first you would stare at them in disbelief, then you started hitting yourself in the head and then they found your mouth. You are constantly chomping on your right hand!

Love you always little man,

Your stats:
11.11 pounds
22.75 inches
15 head circumference

This month at the doctors your got two shots and one oral vaccination. You cried for a few seconds but soon forgot when you got the pina colada flavored oral vaccine. I spent the rest of the day singing "If you like pina colada's.."

One Month

Dear Liam,
Today you are officially one month old. It is hard to believe that you have been in our lives for a full month now. It has truly been the best month of my life. It is amazing to see how much you have changed in such a short amount of time. When you were born your slept all the time and opened your eyes but not nearly as wide as you open them now. You are so alert when you are awake and interact more by watching the toys we show you and making different sounds. You become even more fun to play with each and every day. You are such a content baby. There is not a day that has gone by that I have not thought about how lucky I am to have such a happy little boy in my life. You love to just look around and take in your environment.

This month you met Grandma Hinkley, Pop Hinkley, and Uncle Matt when they came to visit the week you were born. Pop drove all day to be sure him and Grandama were they when you were born, they stayed with us for the first week we were home. Grandma was your first babysitter while Daddy and I ran to Target, Best Buy (so he could get a video game), and Walgreens to get pictures made.

The first week in November Grammy A, Grandpa, Great Aunt Debbie, and Great Granny Victa came to visit. They were so excited to meet you. I think you were kissed 500 times during that visit and told you were cute just as many times. During their visit was the first time Mommy and Daddy went out without you for an extended period of time. Great Aunt Debbie babysat your while we went for breakfast at IHOP and shopping at Marshall’s and Joann Fabric and Grammy A and Great Granny Victa watched you while we went out with your Great Aunt Debbie and Grandma to St. Elmo’s for drinks and appetizers and RAM for dinner; we all had a great time that night. During their visit they also get a webcam so they have been able to see you every night.

For Halloween you were a puppy. Aunt Kerri and your cousin Evan bought you a costume and sent it out with Grandma. You looked so cute even though you were swimming in it! I carved a pumpkin as a birth announcement with ‘It’s a Boy” carved in it and painted the pumpkin blue; we lit it on Halloween night on our front porch.

Love you,

• Stats: Weight 9 pounds 11.5 ounces, 21 inches long, 14 ¾ head circumference
• Out growing newborn clothes as we speaking and have been sleeping in 0-3 month sleepers at night for the last few nights.
• Wearing size one diapers since 2 weeks when you started peeing through every diaper. After one night of four outfit changes we decided to try the size ones and try worked great!
• Your first car ride was to McDonalds and BK lounge. You loved it but was not a fan of waiting in line when the car stopped moving.
• You LOVE your soothie paci but have a hard time keeping it in your mouth at night as soon as you start to fall asleep it falls our, you wake up, start fussing, mama puts it back in, repeat for an hour until you fall sleep deep enough not to care. Last week you got two wubbanubs, Larry the Lion and Guppy the Frog, they are a big help in keeping the soothie in your mouth and you love to hold on to their legs and squeeze them.
• You have gone on three walks around the neighborhood and have loved it. I wish it was warmer out so we could go outside more often.
• You are so strong. Since we were in the hospital you have been holding your head up when laying on our chests. Now you can hold it up for a few minutes and look around. You also love to climb up us when you are hungry. You start all the way down on my belly and make it up past my neck in no time.
• When your Dad holds you at night and I hear a fart coming I have to ask “was that you or him”? are such a boy!
• You love to bounce! Whenever you get fussy we bounce and bounce and you instantly calm down. After my legs get tired I will put you in your bouncy seat which you love.
• You are on a great schedule. Since the day we came home from the hospital you have followed relatively the same schedule. Our normal routine now a days is getting up around 9am, you eat and then I change you into an outfit for the day, we go downstairs and you sit in your swing for 30-45 minutes while I feed Kinsey and Nigel, make breakfast for myself, eat and check email, then we have play time which consists on a lot of singing (mostly Christmas songs), dancing, talking, and playing with toys, you have lunch around 12 then take a good 3 hour nap, you get up to eat again around 4 and sometimes go back to sleep and sometimes stay awake (it depends on the day), at 5:30 Daddy gets home and you are typically napping, you wake up around 7 to eat again and stay awake until 11:30 when you go to sleep, you have been waking up at 4 and 6am to eat but are very good about going right back to sleep. At four weeks old you slept through the night for the first time. Did mommy? No, I stayed awake for two hours because I thought as soon as I closed my eyes you were going to wake up to eat.
• You love to look at faces; you seem to just look at us and study our features and take it all in.
• You came home from the hospital eating 2 ounces at every feeding, moved up to 3 ounces at a little over 2 weeks old and now are up to 4 ounces.
• You sleep like a rock! It amazes people now you can nap through everything such as Daddy playing rock band.
• You love noise. On the rare occasion that you get fussy the vacuum cleaner or running water instantly calms you, it is quite amazing to watch.
• You had your first play date this month when Berkley came to visit you.
• This month you feed on your Daddy twice, one from across the room, and have projectile vomited on him to. I see many night of playing in the tub in our future.
• Poor child you have skin like your Mommy, after baths you get so dry!
• You absolutely love bath time, just like Mommy and Daddy. You like to hang your leg over the end of the hammock and submerge it in the water. What do you hate… getting out of the tub!
• You sleep like mommy with your arm over your head and stretch like Daddy when you wake up. You sneeze like Grandpa, normally twice in a row. Sometimes you make the cutest “awww” sound after your sneeze like you are saying “that feels better”.
• You have learned to make a few different sounds and crys this month. Your hungry cry is the one we see the most but it is INSTANTLY soothed when I but the bottle in your mouth with a “Huh huh hmmmmmm” gulp gulp gulp. You have an excited coo that we have heard just a few times, the “awwww” sound after you sneeze, and your fussy magussy cry.
• You are a loud eater and always make it sound like it is the best thing you have ever tasted. You make a noise that we call your Michael Jackson sound “HeHe”. Often times when I feed you you will hold your hands together on your chest, it is really cute, and other times you will flail your arms and legs around like a crazy man.
• You have been smiling the last few weeks, most of the time it is when you are sleeping but a few times it has been when you are awake and I am interacting with you. Is it a coincidence maybe but I would love to think it is because you are having fun. You smile almost made my melt this month when we were taking our morning nap in bed together and you woke up, opened your eyes, looked into mine and smiled.

World Happenings
• Release of New Moon, the second movie in the Twilight series which broke the record for a midnight release bringing in $26.3 million in ticket sales.
• Release of Modern Warfar 2 scored a record launch earning $310 million in North
America and the United Kingdom, selling more than 4.7 million copies its first week.
• Oprah Winfrey has announced that she is ending her show after its 25th season.
• Yankees win the World Series.
• Top TV shows: Dancing with the Stars, NCIS, House, Grey’s Anatomy
• Health care reform is going forward for approval, the Senate and House have already approved.
• Fort Hood shooting; Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, a psychiatrist who worked in a hospital at Fort Hood, the nation's biggest Army base, is blamed for the deaths of 12 soldiers and one civilian.
• Top songs this month: Kings of Leon “Use Somebody”, Miley Cyrus “Party in the USA”, Taylor Swift “ You Belong With Me”, Chavelle “Jars”, Alice in Chains “Check My Brain”

Friday, November 6, 2009

Two Weeks Old

I cannot believe that Liam has been with us for a full two weeks already, it has flown by. He is eating a solid 3+ ounces at each feeding with is typically at 3am, 6am, 9am, 12pm, 4pm, 6pm, and 9pm although lately he has been interested in eating every 1.5-2 hours in the evening. Our little guy pees... a lot! Many that kiddo can fill up a diaper :-) he is definitely what they would call a heavy wetter. Speaking of diapers...during his first week at home he started leaking out of almost every diaper. We tired everything, new brands, putting his little "guy" downward but he kept leaking, one night we changed his outfit 3 times. So we tried moving him up to size 1 diapers from newborns and problem solved! Woohoo..... the size ones look huge but they keep him try and that makes me happy. I noticed yesterday that it looks like his newborn sleep and plays won't be lasting much longer. When he extends his legs his feet are all the way to the bottom, pretty soon he won't be able to extend his legs straight. Last night we also took Liam on his longest car ride yet, we went to McDonald's and BK to pick up dinner. He loved the car ride but did not like when we stopped moving.

Our Day:
3am: feeding, new diaper and back to sleep
6am: feeding, new diaper and back to sleep
9am: feeding, new diaper and outfit, lay by mommy while she pumps, pack up all out stuff and head downstairs
9:30-10: sit in swing while mommy feeds kinsey and nigel and herself breakfast while running back and forth to give Liam his binkie
10-12 (normally): awake time, listen to music and dance, play with Freddie the Firefly, read books
12-4: afternoon nap in swing while mommy cleans up, eats lunch and sometimes naps or takes a bath while i sit in my bouncy seat or crib
4pm: feeding, new diaper, nap on mommy until daddy gets home
5:30: Papa time! Daddy gets home and holds Liam while mommy makes dinner.
6pm-9pm: feedings, new diapers, and awake time
9pm-11pm: time to bounce and dance to keep little man content, by 10 he is in his bouncy seat with the vibrate on until he falls asleep around 11 when we head up to bed for the night :-)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A whole new world

As I write this today I am sitting next to the most amazing and handsome blond haired, blue eyed twelve day old little boy ... obviously a lot has happened since the last time I posted so let's start at the beginning.

October 15th : I had my 38 week doctor’s appointment, I went along because it was at 11 o'clock and Alex could not get off work because they had a recordable the day before so I told him not to worry about it.

When I went I saw Dr. Ghondal. For some reason I was feeling really overwhelmed at this appointment, I had been worrying the last few weeks about something happening to our little man late in pregnancy such as a cord problem or low fluid levels...I just wanted him out so I can look at him and know he was okay. I told the doctor that I was still getting 10 kicks in two hours but that for Liam his movements had slowed down which was making me crazy. Dr. Ghronals said that we could do an ultrasound to check fluid levels and hook me up to a NST for a while and if all checked out okay he would feel fine looking me in the eye and telling me Liam would be okay for the rest of the week. He also said that if I was interested we could schedule a 39 week induction for the next week as long as I was favorable. I said YES of course. An induction sounded great to me because my parents would be able to get here without rushing, Alex would be able to take off the perfect amount of time from work, and I would be in semi-control. When he checked me he said I was 2 centimeters and about 50-75% effaced making me favorable! During the exam he also stripped my membranes which was not fun to say the least. Next up was the ultrasound and it was amazing. I had not seen Liam since our 20 week ultrasound so needless to say he looked a lot different. He had the cubbies cheeks and the cutest face, it was awesome. Then they hooked me up to the NST monitor and monitored me for 45 minutes. Dr. Ghrondal came in and said that they had noticed a few dips in Liams heart rate and wanted me to go downstairs to Labor and Delivery for extended monitoring. At this point I was very scared because of what I had just heard, because I was going to L&D, and I was all alone since Alex didn't come to the appointment. In L&D I was hooked up to another monitor in triage and was told I would be there for a couple hours. They were going to let me order off the menu since I was there over lunch time but I was way too nervous to eat so I declined. After three hours of monitoring and lots of texts to Alex I was all cleared and told that Liam looked fine! PHEW! My induction was scheduled for the next Wednesday, the 21st, at 8pm.

Monday October 19th. I had to go back into the doctors for another NST. This time Alex went with me, just in case. Everything looked great, I was so relived. This week we met with Dr. Richardson to answer last minute questions about the induction. He told me that they had an induction scheduled for 8am and that the lady had delivered over the weekend and asked if I would be interested in coming in early, we said YES. He told me we would do 12 hours of cervadil then start pitocin.

Wednesday 21st:

I got up at 5:30am, obviously too anxious to sleep. I attempted to eat a light breakfast of an apple and peanut butter but was only able to get half down with all the nerves I was having. I was about to be admitted to the hospital for the first time in my life, hooked up to an IV, and go through the worst pain in my life (from what I hear). I called L&D as directed by Dr. Richardson to make sure there was a room for me and enough staff, they said we were a go and to come in. We arrived at 8am and were taken to our room. It was crazy to walk into the room and see the bed and the warmer that in a few hours Liam would be after he was born. My first nurse was Tori who has purple streaks in her hair, I was hoping it was for Halloween but doubted it. She hooked me up to my IV which was not fun, at all, I held Alex's hand the whole time trying to calm my nerves and breathe through it. I was all set up with a bag of fluids and my first round on antibiotics. At 9:30 Tori inserted the cervadil. At this point I was already having semi regular contractions which were a good sign. We spent all day watching TV and waiting around. Throughout the day contractions get more intense, not painful just stronger tightening. At points it felt like the skin under the motior was going to stretch open. I was able to order lunch which was pasta with vegetables and a cream sauce with lemonade, it was good. Alex played computer games the entire day and i watched tv, it was very boring just waiting around and i was so uncomfortable with the IV i never got used to it. Around 12 noon my new nurse, Sarah was assigned to me. I felt so awkward with her because she kept telling me that they normally bring in cervadil inductions at night so she really didn't know what to do with me, I felt bad like it was my fault I was a boring patient. I had her until 7pm when we got our final nurse AMY! She was awesome from the beginning and would be there until the end. At 7:30 Dr. Richardson came in, this was the first time I had seen a doctor all day. He wanted to check me for progress. I was 3 cm and 75% effaced at this point so he decided to take out the cervadil and break my water. I was so scared of him breaking my water because I could not imagine it not hurting. He grabbed this long, white/yellow plastic instrument.... did a lot of tugging around in there and finally broke my water. It was the oddest feeling ever to have warm liquid gushing out of you. The fluid was clear so Liam did not pass any miconium in utero which was a relief. A half hour later they started the pitocin around 8:15pm. Amy told me that she would increase it every 30 minutes. At 9 pm my parents arrived. At this point contractions started to pick up and hurt. They started feeling like i had to go to the bathroom really badly and progressed with the same feeling but crazy intense pain that i couldn't talk through. Alex was watching ghost hunters and trying to have a conversation with me which was not happening. I could barely concentrate on anything let alone the words coming out of his mouth. Amy checked me again and I was at 4cm. At this point I knew I was getting the epidural it was just a matter of when. I was so indecisive because I didn't want to get it too early but didn't want to hold out if I could be pain free. I am guessing it was somewhere around 11 that I got the epidural. They sent Alex out of the room and he went to sit with my parents. They anesthesiologist came in and was super nice! They told me it would feel like I bee sting when they inserted the numbing medication, I asked what I bee sting felt like because I hadn't even experiment that in my life. Let me just say that the IV hurt 10x worse than the epidural, it was so easy! The shot of the numbing medication was not more painful than a regular shot and he whole process was really fast. Within 10 minutes I was having contractions and only feeling pressure. i had a wonderful epidural because i was able to move my legs and even use my leg muscles to hold myself up for them to change the pads under me and turn myself over. My legs felt like i had been outside in the cold for a long time and the tingle feeling you have once you come inside. Alex was sent back in and I was in my glory. I had one spot on my lower right side that was still feeling some pain so Amy had me lean that direction to direct the medication, within 20 minutes I was feeling no pain. Around 1 am I started feeling some cramp like feelings in my lower abdomen so the anesthesiologist came back to re-medication me. The insertion of the medicine is the coolest feeling because it is like a cold flow right down your back. After that Amy checked me again and I was at a 6, yes...progress. She came back in about a half hour later and said she wanted to check me again; I was kind of surprised because I felt like she was just in to check me. When she checked me she said "Yupp that I was I thought, you are at a 9-10 and his head it right there" WHAT?!?!? A 9-10 holy cow I was not ready to hear that! She left the room and I looked at Alex and said OMG can you believe that, he said "what" I said "I am 9-10cm" he said "oh my god really?!? in disbelief" He went down to tell my parents quick. This was at 1:30....Amy told me that Dr. Richardson was finishing up another deliver and would be in right after to assess. She said if I started to feel intense pressure to call her. At this point I would bound to my left side, not sure why, I didn't ask but I just laid there and waited. I was really happy that I was fully dilated and waiting because I knew it would allow time for Liam to come down further and hopefully wouldn’t have to push as long because he would naturally drop with contractions while I waited. At around 2am I remember trying to kegal just to see what I felt like and I could definitely feel his head there, it was an odd feeling. At 2:15 Dr. Richardson came in and said I was fully dilated and a +3 station, meaning Liam was right there! Yes, exactly what I wanted. They prepped the room brining in all the stuff they would need. Liam's nurse came in and introduced herself as well as the tech that would assist Dr. Richardson. At 2:30 they had me start doing practice pushes. I implemented all the things I had heard, push like you are having a BM after 9 months, push in your bottom DO NOT push in your face, and focus on a focal point. Alex was holding one leg, Amy the other. I was bearing down focusing on the lever that opens the drawer on the "crib". Pushing was going great and I was making progress fast. They had me push for 3 - 10 counts every contraction. I was having the oddest feeling after the first 10 count where I felt like I was pushing up stomach contents into my throat and would have to break from pushing to burp to swallow. No one understood what I was talking about and I kept telling them I was not nauseas and did not have to vomit that it was just a sensation so they told me to take a longer deeper breathe between 10 counts, it worked great! Dr. Richardson asked me if I wanted a mirror to watch and I said NO, I did not want to see what was going on down there! It is kind of like watching a scary movie for me. I am such a wimp but can watch the movie through the tiniest crack in my fingers. This is kind of what I did because I was able to see what was going on in the reflection of the doctor’s glasses so I had a vague idea of the progress I was making. At 2:55 while looking in his glasses I saw a head pop out quickly followed by a body, OMG I was in shock!!! Liam was here.

I never expected to only push for 25 minutes and have it be so easy. He came out peeing and with a HUGE hush of fluid. Because he was so low when they broke my water he "corked" the fluid in. The fluid came gushing out and went all over the chair in the room and very close to being all over Alex who dodged it. They asked Alex if he wanted to cut the cord and I am so happy that he decided to do it. Then they asked me if I wanted to hold him and I said yes. It was an interesting feeling to have him placed on me. Ts little person I had been growing, nourishing, and nurturing for 9 months was finally in my arms. I was in awe of the site of him, to finally put a face to the kicks and rolls. I looked him over quick, 10 fingers, 10 toes, and the cutest face ever! They took him over to the warmer to get cleaned up and checked out. He was screaming so we knew the lungs worked but it was a great sound to hear. At this point the placenta came out with an easy push, it was a weight feeling. Dr. Richardson said I had a second degree tear and he "fixed me up", it took a while to fix up. Liam scored an 8/9 on his apgar scores which I good. He color was perfect but the nurse was worried about his breathing which was a bit labored so they called in the special care nurse to assess. They had been suctioning his airways with a long tub trying to get fluid out. The special care nurse (two of them) came in and said they thought I was upper airway swelling and would come back in a half hour to reassess how he was going. This was really hard because for over an hour of birth I was not able to hold him. When they came back they said he looked fine! Thank you god! For a good two hours after the birth I had horrible uncontrollable shakes, they said it was because of the rapid drop in hormones. I was able to hold him and look at his and just take in the moment. After that Amy gave him his first bath. About two hours after the birth Amy and another nurse got me out of bed to "clean up" gross I know. I was so scared to get out of bed because I had heard stories of fluids rushing out when you stand up, luckily I was able to the the 4 towels that were under me with me on my walk to the bathroom. Walking was odd because my legs were still a bit numb and weak but I made it. Cleaning up was interesting and at this point I had no sense of modesty with these women. Again it was so great to have a nurse that I felt comfortable with and was able to really let go in front of knowing there was no judgment. They told me if I felt at all lightheaded to let them know. I was almost done when I started to feel lightheaded so they had me sit down on the toilet for a while, after losing so much fluid and blood it is common to feel this way but it was scary. I am so happy I didn't pass out. They got me back into bed and in a new gown. I had my fist post birth meal of a turkey sandwich and apple juice and Liam got his first meal as well, he latched on like a champ and nursed for while.

The next morning we were woken up by a man coming into our room. When I woke up I was drenched in sweat and felt like such an idiot as I introduced myself for the first time to Liam's ped Dr. Cosgrove. He looked his over and said he checked out great! He said that they would do the circumcision either this afternoon at lunchtime or tomorrow morning. Around 10 am we were moved to a post-partum room upstairs. When they were rolling us up there I was Tori, Sarah, and the triage nurse I had the week prior. It seemed everyone had heard about the quick and easy delivery and were full of kind works of congratulations. At 11 we found out Liam would be circumcised at noon, I was so scared for my little man who was only a few hours old. At noon Dr. Cosgrove came to get him and explained everything to us and said he would be back in 20 minutes. At this point I went to take a shower and change. When I got out he was back and the nurse said he did not even cry, that's my boy!

They rest of our hospital stay was long; I really just wanted to go home. I felt fine since the time they brought us upstairs. No pain and little bleeding. I was able to move around just fine from the beginning. I was so relieved that I did not experience any of the postpartum horror stories that everyone had told me about such as the diapers and ice packs. So lucky!!! Our nurses upstairs were hit or miss. When we first went up we had Anna who was okay, she certainly not Amy. That night we had Lisa who I liked a lot more she was very outgoing and helpful; we ended up having her both nights we were there. The next day we had an older women and another lady who was “rounding” from IU, she was nice and again very helpful and older lady who was our nurse was probably my least favorite while we were there. Saturday morning, the day we got discharged, our nurse was Carol. The funny thing about her is that she is a participant I had to outreach to during Clarian West attempts.

We came home on Saturday October 24th around 10 am. Liam weighed 6 lbs 13 ounces when we left the hospital, he had passed his hearing test and billirubin checks. Liam wore a Penn State outfit that was about two sizes to big but he looked darn cute.

My parents stayed with us until Wednesday when they went up to my brother until Friday. Our days were spent staring at our little guy in disbelief at what we have created. On Sunday we had our first visitor, Erin and Berkley came to see Liam. It was great to see her and she came bearing wonderful and generous gifts for Liam. A few outfits, a teething toy, and nursing compresses. We also went for our first walk around the block, Liam seemed to like it and it was great to get out and get some fresh air.

I also carved a pumpkin with It's a Boy to set out on our porch for Halloween.

Liam has been a great sleeper since we have been home. While in the hospital it never felt like days but more of just a long stretch of a repeating pattern. Alex and I didn't kiss good night or even say goodnight we just stayed in this pattern of feed him, hold him, sleep, and repeat. Since we have been home we have regained our "goodnight routine". The first few nights Liam stayed up until 12 or 1 (one night of 3am) and sleep the rest of the time only waking up to eat then go back to sleep. The past few night have been awesome; he has gone to bed between 10-11 and wake at 3, 6:30, and 10 to eat, he stays up from 10 until 12 or 2 then naps for the afternoon only waking up to eat then naps again until around 7 or 8 pm when he is up until he goes to bed. Today November 3rd he stared interacting with toys. Before now he has only vague been able to make our objects in front of his face and today I was holding Freddie the firefly in front of his and he was following it, staring at it, and was really exciting to already see how much he is changing and able to focus with his eyes. So far I am doing great, I am so lucky because I have such an easy baby, I am spoiled and I know it! In the hospital feeding his was the most nerve wracking part because we were having a very hard time getting him to actually eat. He would latch on wonderful and then either wiggle off or just sit there and not suck. It was very trying on all of us even though everyone kept telling us that it was totally normal. In the hospital the nurses had me start to pump so that I would stay stimulated so that my milk would come in. Once we got home we decided that I would continue to pump and we would supplement him with formula so that we knew he would be getting something. I still think that this was a great decision on our part. I helped to put him on the great sleep schedule he is on and satisfy his little tummy. In the beginning I was only produce a few syringes of colostrum and now I am up to a good 2 ounces at every pumping session. Pumping is time consuming and to be honest there are many times I just do not feel like doing it, especially at 3am but I know that it is the best stuff that I can give him and that is what drives me to pump at 3am. I feel great, fairly well rested and still have energy. Today while Liam was napping I was able to make a batch of sugar cookies, upload pictures, and type this whole blog, oh and I showered which is a fairly big accomplishment from what I hear. Last Wednesday we went to Liam's one week check up, again he checked our great and was so well behaved. He gained back all of his birth weight plus 6 ounces so he was up to 7 pounds 13 ounces. He shrunk an inch, which the doctor said is totally normally because everyone measures differently, so in reality he did not shrink but it makes me wonder what his real length is/was. Our next appointment will be his one month check up and little guy will have to get a shot which i am already sad about.

On Sunday November 1st we gave him his first big boy bath since his umbilical cord fell off last Thursday. He LOVED the bath and hated getting out.

I really have no words to express what having Liam in my life feels like. Honestly when I look at him sometimes it feels as though my heart can explode because it is so full of love for him and how utterly blessed I feel to have been given this gift. There has been a part of me that has been missing for many years that Liam has filled. I finally feel whole again and so grateful for this gift.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Monday, October 12, 2009

Maternity Leave

Today is my first day on maternity leave :-) and it is kind of odd..... but in a good way. Here are some updates from the last few weeks.

34 weeks and cold from hell! At 34 weeks i caught a horrible head cold from Alex, UGH it was so not fair to be 8.5 months pregnant with a bad cold...sleeping was none existent. One of the funniest things was when i called the doctor to see what medications were safe and they told me for my congestion and cough i could take Tylenol....HAHA yeah okay like that did anything! It took almost 4 weeks to be completely cough and congestion free...that was a long one!

36/37 weeks i had a baby shower at work. It was a lot of fun. We had ceaser salad, caprese BLTs, salsa and chips, apples with caramel, and a raspberry and lemon triffle. The ladies got Liam his bouncer seat which is so cute and got me a bunch of nursing necessities and well as a lovely vaginal birth survival kit from Erin....i was SO red opening that in front of everyone!!!

At 36 weeks i also started to get this horrible ache in the lower abdomen when i would move my legs while laying down or trying to roll over at night...still not sure what it is but man it just keeps getting worse. Getting up at night to go to the bathroom is a treat....sometimes there is so much pressure and pain that i cannot stand up straight, so not fun! Sleeping back to back with Alex has become something i NEED to sleep semi-pain free. Since i can now only sleep on my left side, back=not breathing and right side is alot of pain since my belly doesn't reach the bed, that my hip and back are in so much pain after a short amount of time sleeping, sometimes when i roll just to relieve it i get the best hip and back cracks/pops. Sleeping back to back with alex is great because sometimes his body temp is so hot it feels like a big hot thing :-) Sleeping is also getting shorter but my energy is higher. I went from a normal night sleep being 9-10 hours and tired during the day to 6 hours and not ready to go to bed the next night.

38 weeks and i started maternity leave. Last Monday i was so stumped as to what i was going to do to make the time pass because i had nothing to work on but i was wrong. Tuesday i had my yearly review which went really well, i was nervous but not sure why. Wednesday i was in the office for a while which was nice to be able to see everyone for the last time. Thursday the finishing up of projects started and lasted until a an hour of overtime of Friday. Friday night when Alex got home we ran into the office to drop off the laptop and thank you cards for everyone then went to the mall for a cinnabon :-) yumm!!

10/10 came and went. I was really hoping for a 10/10 birthday for Liam but he decided that was not a good day for him and stayed put. Next up is the 15th which is my brothers guess, then the 21st Alex's, 22nd my guess.....and if we make it to my moms i will be one unhappy camper ..... November 1st!

Back to maternity leave. Today is Monday, my first day off, and i am getting ready to start a cooking/freeze marathon. Alex and I went to costco yesterday and got 60 dollars worth of meat LOL Right now i have the beef roast in the crock pot to make beef stew, hot roast beef sandwiches, and a few others. Then i am starting on all the ground meat stuff...ziti, meatballs, whimpies, and chili. I was so scared yesterday when we were shopping because Liam felt so low, the pressure - down there- was crazy and i kept getting sharp pains where the bottom of my leg connects to my hip. I am so happy he did not decided to come last night with $200 worth of groceries in the fridge/pantry! Thank little man! Now as of Wednesday when i am done cooking i can hope you will be done cooking too and decided to bless us with your arrival :-)

Friday, October 2, 2009


It is FINALLY October, if all goes according to plan Liam will be here this month! Oh my goodness that is so exciting :-) I can not wait to finally meet this little guy and hold him!!!!!!!!!!!

9 months - 36 weeks

How far along: between 36 and 37 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +28 pounds at my appointment yesterday
Maternity clothes? Yes, many of which don't fit anymore
Stretch marks? nope, even the doctor mentioned that yesterday, lucky girl so far
Sleep: is getting bad again, last night was up every hour to go to the bathroom and between bathroom breaks with contractions
Best moment this week: Liam likes to stick his feet so far out on my right side between my hip and last rib and i love feeling his little feet. I also had my work baby shower yesterday which was a ton of fun. We also got the pack n play out of his nursery and there is so much more room, we reorganized downstairs and have it all set up for his arrival. Last weekend i packed my hospital bag so i am ready to go! Alex was nesting last weekend and shampooed our carpets and cleaned the whole house, awesome!!!!
Food cravings: not really, i did really want to go to the mall downtown yesterday for a cinnabon but alex said no and that we could go this weekend
Labor Signs: Nope, got checked yesterday--starting to efface but no significant dilation yet, i have been getting more intense BH contractions and come minor cramping. Last night walking to the bathroom was almost impossible a few times because of the pressure he was putting on me.
Belly Button in or out? In i don't think it will every POP
What I miss: wearing regular clothes, i can't wait to go shopping, for christmas all i want is gift cards to Ann Taylor Loft and The Limited :-)
What I am looking forward to: My last day of work is next Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness i am SO excited!
Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy the last few weeks of it being just the 2 of us, well 4 if you count our furry little ones.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Lots of updates and things to remember

There are a few things i wanted to write down so that i wouldn't forget the next time i am pregnant...
1. Round ligament pains happened from weeks 14-24ish, it was predominantly on my lower right side and hurt the most when trying to get off the brown couch, also started hurting if i went out shopping for a long time or was cleaning around the house for a long time.
2. Sciatica pain came on around week 28ish and was bad for two weeks, subsided with LOTS of yoga stretches-spent a lot of time on the couch!
3. Braxton Hicks contractions started around week 24 (yes, early) got them mostly at night when trying to fall asleep noticed because it got hard to breathe or had to go to the bathroom because of bladder pressure, around week 28 would get them when Liam would kick very hard, around week 30 got them from moving or bending too far. At 34 weeks i am getting them from all of the above reasons but also sporadically--still feels like pressure and gets hard to breathe.
4. Week 28-30ish is when sleeping because very hard, need a crane to roll over at night, woke up throughout night with a lot of middle back pain and lower abdominal pain, woke up every morning with stomach pains, around week 34 there was no position that was comfortable and i could no longer sleep on my back because of pressure on lungs and bad stomach and back pain.
5. Weight gain: gained 6 lbs between 5 and 6 months (big jump) and only 1-2 lbs between 6-8 months, hit 23 pound gain (average is 22-25 at that point) at 33 weeks.


Baby Shower
On Wednesday August 19th at 5pm we began our long drive back to PA. We listened to 6 hours of the last Harry Potter book which made the drive go so much faster-alex and i were both surprised how much we got into the audio book. We arrived at my parents house at 3am (just as Alex alarm went off from the night/morning before because he had to go into work super early--ALex was awesome on the drive home and drove everything but 2 hours :-) he is wonderful! The drive there was rough for me but manageable. At my parents house we had the luxury of a king sized bed which was heaven!!!!!! I hadn't slept as well as i did on that night in months. The next day (Thursday) Alex and i had breakfast and then went down to the mall to get his aunt a birthday present and card and to just simply go to the mall since it had been almost a year and a half since we had been there. It was really nice to drive around in such a familiar place. I swear i would have given an arm to stop at Philly Subs for a small E but i didn't--next trip! That afternoon we went over to Alexs house quick to see his parents who had just gotten back from the air show in AC, then we went to dinner with my parents at the club house. My dad and i had a bucket of crabs and it was a lot of fun. After that we went back to their house and Jer came over to watch sports with Alex and my Dad while my mom and i were upstairs going though scrapbooking stuff and looking at old family pictures which was so much fun! The next day Friday Alex went golfing in the morning and my mom and i put togeher the favors for the shower then that evening was Andrew and Rachaels wedding. We left at 2:45 and ended up missing the turn pike exit because we were yapping. My Dad then proceeded to drive 80+ MPH in the pouring rain, fog, and traffic to get their on time (we are supper anal about being early so running just a few minutes late puts he and i in a panic).... let's just say half way there i had to go to the bathroom and this bumpy drive was not helping but i didn't say anything cause i didn't want him to get mad LOL so i just held it in until we got there. The wedding was really nice, it was awesome to be at the first wedding with Alex as my husband :-) It was outdoors in a tent and it rained and was super hot and humid but we all had a wonderful time talking with family that we hadn't seen in a while. On Saturday Alex went over to his parents house fairy early and i went to sushi lunch with my mom which was amazing!!! We had a great conversation about L&D--mom thought that an epidural was just for pushing and didn't know it was for all of labor--but she was an inspiration once again to try and go natural. After lunch we went to the grocery store and i got stuff to make PB pie for the cookout at Alex house that evening. My mom dropped me off at Alex's house after that. We had a cookout that night with a lot of his family and Jer was there too, mmm and we had clams yummy! That night we watched the Nascar race then went to bed. That night i thought i was going into labor. We slept on a full size bed, one smaller than the one we sleep at at home and i was so hot and uncomfortable and had zero room. At one point i woke up with the most horrible stomach pains but did not have to go to the bathroom, i was scared to death i was going into labor in PA and ended up crying for almost an hour--i finally fell asleep after 2 hours and felt better the next morning PHEW no baby yet. Sunday was the shower and Alex went golfing with Jer and Kennedy. That morning i went over to my parents to hang out and get ready there. At 12 we headed over to the club house to set up. It was wonderful to see everyone that i had not seen in so long, many since our wedding. We had a wonderful lunch of strawberry salad, tortellini in a vodka sauce, and asparagus quiche--it was all amazing!! After that my mom and sister played cruise director with a few games. FYI baby showers are great because you get to sit and watch while everyone else runs around :-) Then we opened presents, Ash was my recorder and Kerri did SO much she was my gift giver and runner --Alex's mom jumped in to help about half way through which was great. We got a ton of stuff, little man is so spoiled already! My favorite thing was a dinosaur outfit that has little socks that look like dino feet, i am just so in love with it! After the shower we packed the car and headed to my parents to say goodbye--it was so odd because they said next time we see you Liam will be here Ahhhh :-) that is so exciting!!! Then we went over to Alex's parents to have dinner of pizza and wings (mmm so good) and repack the car with presents and our stuff then started our venture back to Indiana. I was so happy to be going home because i missed out little ones so much. Speaking of them on Thursday and Friday Erin was nice enough to stop by and take care of them and then Saturday Matt came down and stayed over night with them. It was such a relief knowing that they had someone here with them overnight. The drive back was rough to say the least. I was so uncomfortable and was having a ton of braxton hicks contractions so i had to have my seat as far back as it would go. I was exhausted from no sleep the night before and was never so happy when we pulled in around 4am. The little ones we so happy to see us it was just a wonderful home coming. The next day we unpacked the car and got to look at all the wonderful stuff we got for Liam and went to breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

Doctors appointment updates:
Since week 28 i have been going to the doctors every other week. Things are going great, appointment are quick and straight forward. Weight, BP, is the baby moving good for you (yes), listen to the heartbeat and do the fundal height measurement. As of my last appointment at 33 weeks i was up 23 pounds which was hard to see, even though i know i am in the target zone it is still hard to see that big of a number on the scale.

Right now i am 34 weeks and so ready for Liam to be here! Sleeping is horrible, i dread it every night. I know once he is here i won't be sleeping but at least i will be up taking care of him and not up and in pain. Last night i was so uncomfortable i just wanted to cry which is not like me at all.

This past weekend was labor day and major nesting hit me. On saturday i cleaned out and organized the "horder" closet aka guest room/office closet and put everything from Liams closet (old apartment stuff) into the guest closet, it was very hard work but felt so good to see it all done and YEAH little man finally has a real closet all this own, well plus Daddys cds. Then on Monday i cleaned the baseboards with a tooth brush, washed the walls in the bathrooms and kitchen, and washed the bathroom floors by hand. A few people have told me that this normally happens right before the baby comes, i am okay with that LOL--well maybe in a week or two. But i still feel like i have so much to do to our disheveled house! UGH!

As of yesterday 9/9 i have one month left of work, can a get a hallelujah! Oh i am so ready to be done with work. The pain of sitting at a computer all day is enough to put me in tears. There is so much pressure against my lungs and ribs from sitting up straight that i need to recline every 20 minutes--it also gives me intense braxton hicks contractions plus little man is very smart and knows that if he sticks his feel all the way over on my side i will move because of the pain so whenever he is squished he does that, which is so painful...but it is cute because you can feel his little tootsies :-)

Oh i also started my pregnancy scrapbook which will be Liams first year memory book. I am loving the way it is coming together.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese Spread

Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese Spread

4 oz. cream cheese, softened
3 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons pure maple syrup
1/4 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. In a small bowl, beat softened cream cheese, sugar, and syrup til creamy.
2. Add pumpkin, spices and vanilla and beat til smooth.
3. Refrigerate for at least an hour.
4. Enjoy!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Bargaining with my son ,...

Dear Liam... if you move off my sciatica i promise to buy you a pony! Please dear child shift your head you are killing me.....

For the last three days i have been experiencing excruciating back pain--sharp shooting pains down my tail bone down my legs, every movement send a shock of pain, plus intense pressure in my spine. Over the weekend i would estimate i did around 5 hours of stretching and yoga to try and ease the luck. Honestly i just sneeze and screamed because of the intensity of the pain--and i have a pretty high pain tolerance. WOW i can't wait for October! I didn't want to call the doctor to ask if this was okay because i don't want to sound like a wimp and i figure back pain is so common late in pregnancy i should be expecting it but after talking with Erin today i think i may call tomorrow morning just to see if they have some tips.

Friday, August 7, 2009

28 weeks - hello 3rd trimester!!

28 weeks
How far along: 28 weeks 2 days, measuring 29 weeks at doctors appointment
Total weight gain/loss: +18 pounds
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? nope, even the doctor mentioned that yesterday, lucky girl so far
Sleep: :-( i miss it.....oh to be back and hip pain free!
Best moment this week: after failing my 1hr glucose test two weeks ago i had to go in for a three hour test last Thursday. I went to the doctors yesterday and found out i passed with flying colors, would have passed at hour 1 this time.
Food cravings: soda...awful i know, and this summer salad i made up
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In i don't think it will every POP
What I miss: cute cloth and being skinny!!!! walking without pain
What I am looking forward to: going to PA in two weeks!!!!!!! i am not officially the next one due in the office both Sheree (both) and Danielle had their babies within the last three weeks
Weekly Wisdom: started kick counts this week, i am also starting a pregnancy scrapbook which will turn into Liams baby memory book as well. Pretty excited about this project.

Two weeks ago my parents and brother visited us because Matt moved to Muncie!!! We had a wonderful time. My mom and i made some cloth diaper inserts for the lil gpants which came out really cute and also got the pattern to make the curtain for this room.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Chickpea Summer Salad

1 can chickpeas rinsed and drained
1/2 pint tomatoes halved
1 cucumber peeled, seeded, chopped
1 avocado chopped
1/2 cup broccoli
2 large mozzarella balls cubed
handful of basil sliced

1/2 lemon juice
drizzle of olive oil
salt, pepper, garlic powder

Friday, July 17, 2009

About us

About You
Name?: Sarah

Age?: 24

Height?: 5'5

Pre-pregnancy weight?: 127

About The Father
Name?: Alex

Age?: 25

Height?: 5'11.5

Are you still together?: YES

About Your Pregnancy
Is this your first pregnancy?: Yes

When did you find out you were pregnant?: Feb 16th, 09

Was it planned?: Yes

What was your first reaction?: OMG ... there are two lines.... :-)

Who was with you when you found out?: Nigel

Who was the first person you told?: Erin at work

How did your parents react?: very happy

How far along are you?: 25.2 weeks

What was your first symptom?: Morning sickness and tired

What is your due date?: October 28th, 2009 moved back from the 23rd

Do you know the sex of the baby?: All BOY!!!!

Have you picked out names?: Yes

If so, what are they?: Liam Alexander

How much weight have you gained?: around 15 pounds

Do you have stretch marks?: A few little ones i think

Have you felt the baby move?: Yes ! ! !

Have you heard the heartbeat?: Yes

About the birth
Will you keep the baby?: YES!!!!!!!

Home or hospital birth?: Hospital but not by choice, home birth is illegal in Indiana

Natural or medicated birth?: trying my hardest for natural

Who will be in the delivery room with you?: Alex

Will you breastfeed?: Hoping to for the first year

Do you think you'll need a c-section?: Not unless he stays in the transverse position he has been in the whole time

Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?: I'm sure

What's the first thing you might say to him/her?: I have no idea....

Would you let someone videotape the birth?: No!

Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: Very excited i can't wait for him to be here!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

What i could really go for right now....

A clean house, crisp breeze coming though an open window, a fall scented candle burning, laying on the couch with my hot thing and comfy/squishy clothes on, and silence..... that sounds so amazing right now :-)

Sounds like what life will be like in the few week leading up to Liam's arrival :-)

Oooh what i'd really love is sitting on the porch, holding Liam, crisp fall air, a pumpkin spice latte, a big sweatshirt, and my husband ... with a clean house and fall candle burning inside.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

24 weeks

How far along: 24 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +13 pounds
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? none that are noticeable
Sleep: depends on the day, i've started to get leg cramps during the night now which has been a little rough this week
Best moment this week: getting SO much of the nursery done. The crib is up and the bedding is on, the chair is here, room is painted, new ceiling fan is up and we have ordered the car seat, stroller, pack and play, and get a swing!!!
Food cravings: nothing in particular this week
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: be able to walk normal, he is starting to feel really heavy Oh and not having to pee every hour
What I am looking forward to: my shower coming up next month
Weekly Wisdom: No wisdom but i did start a project this week for my little guy. I am hand painting a name plate sign for his door which is coming along very nice.

Today we celebrate .....

..... the life of "the king of pop" Michael Jackson 1958-2009.

On Thursday June 25th, around 4pm eastern time we learned of the passing of the greatest icon of our generation. I can remember listening to Michael Jackson all the time when i was young and getting his album Dangerous for the 8th birthday, on cassette by the way :-) One tradition, for me, will forever live on and that is listening to Thriller every Halloween!!! Hopefully this year i will be able to listen to it with baby Liam in my arms.

From MSN

The King of Pop is dead.

Michael Jackson, the world's most successful entertainer, died Thursday afternoon in Los Angeles of apparent cardiac arrest. He was 50 years old.

There is no questioning the gifts Jackson gave millions of people around the world. His humanitarianism is well documented, going back decades. (In 2000, he made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Charities Supported By a Pop Star." The number was 39.) His sales figures -- records, videos, concert tours -- are unparalleled. He never underestimated his audience or lived to any standard higher than his own. His music was always joyful, even at its darkest, and smart, even at its most accessible. It was the pinnacle of populism, the source of his royal title.

Over the past decade, Jackson fell victim to America's orgiastic cult of celebrity -- a gutless opportunism he unwittingly helped spawn. Personal problems and public scrutiny overshadowed the image of pop genius he cultivated during the 1980s. For the last year or so, Jackson was a recluse and an invalid, shepherded via wheelchair by a phalanx of handlers, seemingly enlivened only by his three young children. But for all the exaggerated reports of weirdness and allegations of sexual deviance, Jackson, or at least the idea of him, remained magnetic. Earlier this year he sold out 50 concerts at London's O2 Arena -- some 1 million tickets -- in a matter of hours. Whatever the news, his fans believed him still capable of magic.
In considering the meaning of MJ, the difficulty is that, over the course of one of history's most public lives, the individual became inseparable from the myth and the myth became inseparable from the media machine that fostered it. In this sense, Jackson's life is both a catalyst and mirror of American cultural habits over the last 30 years, fraught with all the associated triumph and dysfunction and isolation. An entire nation watched him grow up before a live studio audience, foreshadowing the voyeurism/narcissism hardwired into the age of Facebook.

His first No. 1 hit, "I Want You Back," came out on the Motown label in 1970 with his band of brothers, the Jackson 5. Michael was 11 at the time. He followed with several successful solo albums throughout the '70s, but it was 1979's "Off the Wall" that put him on an unmatchable ascent. From there, he achieved colossal stardom during the Golden Age of Pop -- an age he came to define. That Golden Age brought our other remaining pop icons, Madonna and Prince. It also brought MTV, where his video for "Billie Jean" was one of the first by a black artist to air in regular rotation. From there, Jackson's rise coincided with the channel's, his big-budget, radically choreographed concepts like "Beat It," "Thriller," "Bad" -- which was directed by Martin Scorsese -- and "Smooth Criminal" forever elevating the production standards for music videos. Along the way, MJ let loose some of the baddest dance moves known to man.

The '80s were Jackson's heyday, and it's accurate to view the decade as a simpler time. Celebrity journalism hadn't devolved into the lowest-common-denominator turkey shoot it is now. Rumors of Jackson's eccentricity -- a pet chimpanzee, a hyperbaric chamber, the Elephant Man's bones -- were spread playfully by Jackson himself. During this period, pop was in its primacy and Jackson truly was the king. It's an overlooked fact that his music was effortlessly progressive: from the disco-pop doubletime of "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" to Eddie Van Halen's hard rock riffs on "Beat It" to the electro-goth of "Thriller" to the astro-soul of "Smooth Criminal." Now entwined in the pop music canon, these songs stood out as wildly innovative at their vintage.

Though Jackson still produced great music, videos, and concert performances through the mid-'90s, he never fully recovered from 1993 accusations of child molestation. He felt betrayed by the public -- his public -- and the greater his exposure, the deeper his reclusion. Music changed in the '90s: Alternative rock altered the perceptions of mainstream success, and gangsta rap offered criminality as entertainment. Culture in general changed, and we, as consumers, changed with it. By the time of Jackson's second child molestation trial, in 2005 -- which found the singer not guilty -- he had become a punch line. Oversaturated, underempathized, cynical, we were cowed by sensationalism and unproven allegations. Heedless to truth, we wanted the tabloid story, mainly because it was all that was offered. If we danced to his music, it was with an ironic wink. But we still danced.

Even his death is a reflection of our age. The news was first reported on tabloid-style gossip Web site; His name was his name instantly elevated to Twitter's top hash-tagged search item; capsule tributes were posted on blogs and Web sites minutes after his passing.

Last year, on the occasion of Jackson's 50th birthday, biographer J. Randy Taraborrelli wrote a heartbreaking piece for the British newspaper The Daily Mail. He quoted Jackson: "It all went by so fast, didn't it? I wish I could do it all over again, I really do."

Michael Jackson's music speaks for itself. It's some of the most infectious, ebullient pop music ever made. Michael Jackson, for whatever reason, failed to speak for himself. His legacy, greater than words or numbers can convey, is entangled within our own media-fed obsessions and assumptions. We will always celebrate his art, but we should also learn from his life.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

22 week appointment

Just got back from the doctor and little man looks great! The results from the anatomy ultrasound were all normal and he is in the 59 percentile :-) is such a relief to know that everything developed correctly. We also got to hear his heartbeat which the doctor said was nice and strong. I, on the other hand, found out that i have gained 13 pounds so! I hit went over the 140 mark this month which is the first time in my life i have been in that range. I am almost always in the 120's when i gained a little weight a few years ago i was in the low 130's but today saw 141 which was a bit of a shock but it is for a great cause. I just need to make sure i keep eating when i am hungry and not use the pregnancy as an excuse to go wild like some people do.

Monday, June 22, 2009

(almost) 22 weeks

How far along: 21 weeks 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: +9 pounds
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? none that are noticeable
Sleep: not too bad, it has been very hot 90+ degrees which has made sleep challenging for everyone
Best moment this week: ordering Liam's furniture!!!! and getting the rest of the bedding :-)
Food cravings: i really wanted a ham sandwich again....
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: being in PA
What I am looking forward to: Alex's family is coming next week and we get to shop for Liam :-)
Weekly Wisdom: I want October to be here when i wake up tomorrow and what i have been TRYING to instill in my mind is to enjoy these last four months of it just being Alex and I, make the most of our time as a family of two, get the best sleep i can, keep working on the nursery and make it amazing, October will be here before we know it and i won't ever have this time back so i should stop wishing it away.
Milestones: ordering furniture, it makes it even more real ... next week i will be 6 months along :-)

My life today

June 21st, 2009

Outside my window...the road has dried from the early morning store, i need to bring our trash can in and get our mail.

I am much i want to be a SAHM, what i can do to make money while home, how much i wish i could straighten up this house and go to the grocery store, how much i can't wait for October to be here.

I am thankful husband, family, in-laws, friends, our beautiful home, that we have jobs in the economy, the blessing of baby Liam, the hope of good things to come.

From the kitchen...i have a cup of tea and lemon cookie straws.

I am wearing...Alex sweat pants and a white tee shirt.

I am Liam's room.

I am straighten my house on my lunch break.

I am reading...What to Expect When your Expecting.

I am hoping...for a great visit with the in-laws.

I am hearing...the fan inside my work computer running and my keys typing.

Around the house...there is some weekend clutter that needs to be picked up and clothes in the bedroom that need to be put away.

One of my favorite looking at before and after furniture that folks find at yard sales/goodwill and refinish, it inspires me and amazes me at the potential things have.

A few plans for the rest of the week...working Monday-Friday, doctors appointment on Thrusday, canal day at work on Friday, corn hole tournament and cookout on Saturday with Alex softball team, and going to two softball games on Sunday, oh and frantically cleaning because my in-laws are coming on Tuesday!!! Fingers crossed that the crib and glider come in this weekend so that Alex and his dad can put it together and i can make up baby Liam's crib!!!!!

A picture to share... table top idea for baby shower

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

My favorite frozen dinner EVER

I am at work right now and felt the need to blog about how in love with my dinner i am. Amy's organic pesto tortellini bowls are by far my favorite frozen dinner EVER!

Monday, June 15, 2009

I love never being alone

I saw this quote and thought it was very fitting

A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside... when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Changing Table and Bedding

Last night Alex picked up the changing table that we purchased, new, off craigslist. I was a little worried because in the picture it looks like a lighter shade of cherry than the crib is. When Alex got home he said that the guy said a lot of people have come to purchase it and changed their mind because it was too dark!! matches perfectly!!!!!!! I am beyond happy with the changing table. We put it together after dinner last night and i am so in love with it and so happy i have a place to put all of Liam's socks and hats :-) Plus, it was am amazing deal. It retails for $170 and we got it, again new in the book, for $60!

Yesterday morning i also purchases the rest of his bedding from Restoration Hardware. I already received the bumper pad on Wendesday and just love it. So yesterday i got the matching crib skirt and a decorative pillow with his name monogrammed on it. We also finally decided on paint colors! The bedding is cloud blue (very very light blue) and toast (tan). Alex really wanted some dark color on the walls so we settled for cloud blue on the top and dark navy on the bottom with a white chair rail and tan curtains.

Yesterday i was also off of work and slept the day shopping for the little one, shocking i know. I got some great deals and awesome clothes for him. I spend around $50 at Kohl's and on the receipt it said you saved $127 :-) I also got him the cutest puma socks that look like sneakers and wooden letters to spell his name on the wall. The little mans closet is filling up :-)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

20 weeks -- Half way there!!

How far along: 20 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +9 pounds, not sure why i was weight 10+ pounds last week
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? ?? a few i think
Sleep: a little painful, i think last night Liam was scared on the thunder because he would kick really hard every time it happened
Best moment this week: finding out we are having a BOY!!!! and seeing him kick on the outside
Food cravings: nothing different this week
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: PA
What I am looking forward to: getting the changing table tomorrow and the bedding that shipped today
Weekly Wisdom: ?
Milestones: HALF WAY DONE!! I can't wait to hold this little guy!


I really liked this quote.

"Yesterday happened the way it did so today could happen the way it should."

Sunday, June 7, 2009

It's a ...........

Baby Liam is on his way!!!!

On Wednesday, June 3rd at 3:30pm we had out BIG ultrasound. I seemed like the longest day of my life waiting until 3:30. I was really nervous before we left because i knew to the doctors this ultrasound what not just to find out if you were a boy or a girl but to make sure you were healthy and intact. 90 minutes before the appointment i needed to drink 24oz of water and finish 45 minutes before the start of the appointment. When we got to the doctors office i thought i was going to POP! The ultrasound tech took up back to an amazing ultrasound room. The had a flat screen monitor on the wall to make it easy for us to watch along. When she started she immediately said WOW because my bladder was bigger then you! She took only a few pictures then send me to the bathroom :-) aaahhhhh :-) When i got back the real ultrasound began and so did you activity! The tech asked me if i had been feeling any movement. Of course i said YES! and told her that you can actually see it from the outside. She said "wow that is really odd to be able to see it at only 19 weeks along", i don't think she really believed me.......until later :-) We saw all of your organs: bladder, kidneys, stomach, brain, etc; she did measurements of your arms, legs, head, and body and you measured just perfect! Then she said "alright do you want to know what is ..." and we swiftly replied "YES" and she said "It's A BOY!" :-) OMG we are having a boy. I was convinced that you were a girl but i think that is because i really wanted a boy but never thought i would be so blessed. I turned to your dad and smiles with so much joy! During the ultrasound you also waved to us :-) which was amazing, the tech said most babies hold their hands in fists by their face, not you, you waves fingers spread wide, you must have gotten that outgoing-ness from your father. At one point you were using my bladder as a trampoline. You would tuck in a ball and jump off, continuously. Also, while the tech has the probe on me you kicked it so hard you moved it away...then she knew i wasn't kidding :-)

After the ultrasound we got in the car and send a massive text message to all of our friends and co-workers. Then i called Gradma and Pop H and Uncle Matt, i told them 'It's a boy' and everyone SCREAMED and Grandma cried :-) everyone is so excited to meet you. That night we went to dinner at Longhorns Steakhouse to celebrate Baby Liam's impending arrival!. Then we went to shop for some blue. We went to Marshall's and got you a few outfits; a couple cute bodysuits with animals on them, a MVP baseball PJ set, a one piece navy blue Ralph Lauren polo --which will go GREAT with your white shoes, and a izod polo with plaid shorts. Then we went to target to get hangers and i also got you a red and blue rugby striped footed PJ's that say Daddy Loves Me with a cute navy hoodie.

The next morning i was online looking at bedding and got all chocked up. It really hit me the next morning that we are going to have a SON. I am beyond excited. I cannot wait until you are here so that i can hold you, look at you, and show you the world! I can't wait to watch you and your Dad playing outside, take you to the park, wrap you up in a towel after a nice bath, read you stories, and make you amazing baby food :-) I can't wait to help you learn to walk, and see you smile and laugh. There are so many exciting things that are about to happen in our lives and i am looking forward to them more than anything i have ever looked forward to before.

Last night, 6/6, i bought the bumper for your crib. It is from Restoration Hardware and it is called cuddle plush...sounds comfy huh? Now the debate is what colors to paint your room, your Dad and I are on opposite sides with this one. I want light blue/gray and he wants dark blue.....we will see who wins OR what the compromise is.

Love you Liam!!!!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Updating ...Finally much has happened since the last time i posted! Arg ...why can't i keep up with updates!

May 21st we had our 17 week check up and things went great! For the first time we were able to HEAR the heartbeat, the doctor said the little one is too big to hind anymore :-) He then went on to tell us stories about other very active children and how some will move while we (on the outside) are listening to the heartbeat and wouldn't you know not two seconds later the little one dove down and turned so the doctor had to hunt for it for a few minutes :-) I guess your shy like you mama or just a little stinker :-)

During the last few weeks i have started to feel the baby move! It is amazing, crazy but absolutely the best feeling ever. Over the past week it has gotten stronger and i swear our child is taking kick boxing classes. Alex said it is a baby Fedor :-) I was so excited on Sunday because Alex was able to feel it for the first was awesome. I have to laugh at some of the times the baby starts to kick; for likes the Jonas Brothers, Krispie Kream doughnuts, gets board at work, and didn't like when i was relaxing getting a prenatal massage. :-)

My family was here from the 21st to Memorial Day and we had a great time. We were able to go out for a wonderful dinner at Stone Creek to celebrate mothers day, my dad's birthday, matt's graduation, and our and my parents anniversary. On Sunday the boys went the Indy 500 and my mom and i went shopping and to lunch. We went to Babies R Us and picked out the nursery room furniture which i am so in love with then we went to Buy Buy Baby and then to lunch at Stir Crazy which was amazing! Last we went to Motherhood and my mom bought me some amazing clothes for the summer! You Pops (my dad) also told me that my due date is my grandfathers birthday! He really wants you to stay in there until that day, which would be amazing and very special.

Tomorrow is a BIG day! It is our big ultrasound where we get to know if it is a Liam or a Lucy in there. I have been scouring the internet looking for all the old wives tales to see if i could make an educated guess, you know because tomorrow still seems too far away. Here are the stats from family guesses. All of Alex's family thinks it is a boy, my mom and brother also think it is a boy, as well as Alex, me, my dad and sister, as well as some co-workers think it will be a we will see whose right. From the old wives tales and Chinese predictor chart it says boy.

19 weeks

How far along: 19 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +10 pounds
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? none yet
Sleep: better than before, i got a new pillow which has helped a lot
Best moment this week: Alex feeling the baby kick for the first time, his face was priceless!
Food cravings: None the past few weeks although i did find a new favorite drink at Sonic ... apple juice slush
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: my family who visited us a week ago
What I am looking forward to: tomorrow......we find out if it is a little Liam or Lucy kickboxing in their
Weekly Wisdom: ?
Milestones: half way done next week! wow!!! and finally getting to shop for pink or blue

Saturday, May 16, 2009

16 weeks

How far along: 16 weeks 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: +4 pounds
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? on my hips? but i think they have been there since i was younger
Sleep: :-( not much...waking up at random times and cannot fall back to sleep, attempting to sleep on left side which leaves me with a neck and backache for the rest of the day
Best moment this week: co-workers pointing out the baby bump and Alex rubbing it :-)
Movement: i think so, started feeling internal twitching (best way to describe it) a few weeks ago (14) felt it maybe 2-3 times a day when i was watching tv or reading this week i felt it more like 5 times a day and it catches me off guard when i am working
Food cravings: Popsickles! i ate 5 in one hour the night a got them
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: shopping at The Limited for cute summer clothes
What I am looking forward to: next week: doctors appointment and my parents and brother are visiting who i have not seen in 5 months
Weekly Wisdom: start updating blog weekly with this questionairre
Milestones: i'll be 5 months next week :-)

Thursday, April 30, 2009

14 weeks

Yesterday at work one of my co-workers for another department stopped me in the hall and asked "are you preggo? i replied "yes" and she says "yeah that looks like more that just bloat" WOOHOO maybe i don't just look fat LOL

Last weekend i went shopping and treated myself to some new maternity clothes. I got three shirts from Old Navy, two amazing pairs of pants from motherhood, and three shirts from Kohls. :-)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Growing and growing and growing......

Baby P you actually look like a baby now :-) not a gummy bear, peanut, or a blob (you were a very cute blob thought).

Yesterday, April 22nd Earth Day, we, your dad and I, went in for our 13 week appointment. The doctor attempted to hear your heartbeat from the outside but was having trouble finding it....and let me note he was killing me with how hard he was pushing on my tummy to find it and to think i was afraid of hurting you by laying on my stomach at night...i guess you are pretty safe in there. So once again we got to see you on the ultrasound machine....5 times in 13 weeks :-) we are very lucky people although we will be paying to all these little face to face visits when the bill comes :-) As it turns out you were hiding behind my pelvic bone....guess that is the me in you as i love to sit in the corner or the inside of the booth at a restaurant. All you did was move and bounce around... you got the doctor a bit frusterated because he was trying to take measurements of you and all you did was move around. I had to laughing thinking it was a sign of baby portraits and family portraits to come..... i think you will be the one we only get the pictures of crawling away from the camera hehe. So how did you measure up..... your waist circumference, leg bone length, and head to hiney length all measure perfect at 13 is the kicker and the your dad in you ... your head circumference measured a week bigger than the rest of you :-) we had a good chuckle able that because everyone makes fun at your dad because of the size of his head but we love him :-) I also had the pleasure of my first internal exam with your dad in the about embarrassing LOL but he is amazing and made me feel so calm, i truly appreciate his attitude towards these things he knows just how to act to make me feel better :-) i love that guy you will call dad! At our appointment we also scheduled the BIG ultra sound on June 3rd to find out if you are a Liam or a Lucy. I am convinced by gut instint that you are a Lucy but we will see ... i can't wait to find out so that i can shop for clothes and stuff for your room!!!! You room is going to be awesome! Grandma H is coming to visit, along Pop H and Uncle Matt, on May 21 (Pops birthday) and Grandma and I plan to paint your room....i am so excited!!

In other news your dad and I found a swing for you that we absolutely love at Target! They were sold out the the Target in Avon so we traveled over to Plainfield before going to see Adventureland and found one, we were thrilled. The next day we pulled it out to get it set up and found out it was missing half the pieces.... :-( bummer! So we had to return it, now we are just waiting till they get more in stock. Is this a sign telling us that you are not going to like the swing? I hope not because it is awesome!

So what do we have for you so far....a sling carrier, Ralph Lauren socks, your own pair, well three of them, of squishy socks!!!!! and three organic cotton bibs which i love they say Organically Made on then which i think is funny and cute.

So what are my symptoms: well at about 11 and a half weeks morning sickness began to fade woohoo... instead of 7 days a week and all day i am only sick 1 or 2 days in the morning and i have somewhat of an appetite again, hmmmm what else... by boobs are huge LOL (you probably do not care/want to hear about that) but man oh man they grew at least 1 cup size in three months but they don't hurt anymore :-) alriiiiiiiight!, i am still extremely exhausted MAN ... building you is HARD work!, and by biggest symptom right now is by expanding tummy ... mama has a closet full of clothes and maybe 10 things to wear besides sweats of course but i love it every time i out grow a pair of pants i laugh ... it is i just can't wait until i look like i have a pregnant belly instead of like i ate too many double cheeseburgers.....speaking of food what am i craving... well i have always had odd food cravings but here is what i've wanted lately (you are making me a bad nutritionist that is for sure) egg mcmuffin with cheese and an OJ from McDonalds, double cheeseburgers with extra pickles and an OJ from McDolands, soft serve ice cream again from McDonalds (i see a pattern developing here), pickles in general are very appealing right now, sunflower seeds, arnold palmer drinks (1/2 country time 1/2 lipton), beef ramen noodles (for weeks i ate this once a day), and toaster strudels (but this one is fading).

The goal i have for you in the coming weeks...with all the bouncing around you do ... kick me :-) i want to feel it !!

Love You !