Monday, June 28, 2010

It makes you feel loved but oh so tired….

That is what separation anxiety feel like…to the Mama. Liam had kicked into “oh my goodness she is leaving me what am i going to do now?….I know, scream like i fell out of my crib until she comes back” mode. There is no denying that when your baby is crying for you and the simple act of picking him up soothes him into a state of compete content you feel pretty good and loved, but when it happens almost hourly through the night…it get tiring. Fast.

I am almost certain that the sudden onset of nighttime wakings is due to separation anxiety because for one during the day the boy sleeps downstairs where I am. In an average hour long nap he will wake up anywhere from 3-5 times, look around with groggy eyes, spot me, let out a relived sigh, and peacefully fall back to sleep. [during the time it took me to write this post he has woken up 3 times and done this] On the rare occasion i try to get him to nap in his room his naps are very short and not very productive which leads to a long, long day with a cranky baby. Also, for the first time in Liam’s life i have needed to hold him until he falls asleep. We used to be able to give him his bottle and lay him down, still semi awake, and he would fall asleep within 5 minutes but not anymore. The simple act of leaving him room with him semi awake leads to an all out fit!

So what are our choices?

He can cry it out or we I can rock him back to sleep multiple times a night.  I have always been against cry it out. I have always felt like it was just a phase that would pass and we would be able to get through it without letting him cry it out. I have seen recent research against letting kids cry it out but i have also talked to numerous people that it has worked wonderful for who now have awesome sleepers. Well last night, in an all out i have lost my patients and needs sleep state of mind, i tried to let him cry it out. I let him go for 10 minutes and then went in to reassure him that i was still there but that it was time to go to sleep so that we can be rested for a fun day tomorrow. I gave him his paci, and then tossed in 5 others so he’d have his pick if he woke up again, and he fell back to sleep. He woke up again around 5am and i let him go again. First 10 minutes, then went it, then 15 minutes then went in, then I heard a loud bang and thought he hit his head on the crib. Thinking that he had hit his head (which he didn’t) i ran it and picked him up and he instantly calmed down. I sat down with him in the rocking chair and he fell back to sleep. His face was red and his ears were filled with tears…and i felt awful.

So do we stick with letting him cry it out or not, i am not sure… I’ve hear it only takes a few rough nights for it to work for most people. At Liam’s 6 month well baby check up our pediatrician asked us how he was sleeping and we told him that we did need to get up multiple times a night to simply give him his paci and the doctor told us to let him cry it out. So i am sure he would suggest it this time too. We just have to figure out if it is the right thing for us.


Sarah said...

I sorta envy you in a way. Landon could care less if I'm in the room or not. He's not really attached to anyone. He gets babysat by his grandma, great grandma, uncle, daddy, grandpa ... Really whoever wants to watch him that day. Now don't get me wrong, when I go to pick him up after work and he sees me, he'll show me a bug ol grin ... Sometimes even belly laugh. But if I walk right back out of the room, he'll just go right back to playing. I sorta wish that he'd cry for me. Ha! We also did CIO with Landon when he was having trouble sleeping. It really did only take a few (rough) nights for us. Now he might wake up talking in the middle of the night but then he'll go back to sleep. Now I know if he is crying or fussing a lot at night then there is something else wrong with him. Good Luck!!!

Jessica @ This Blessed Life said...

We are in the super-clingy stage now, too. You're totally right - it feels awesome to be loved and wanted so much, but it's also so tiring when you need to get other things done (or sleep, as in your case).

We did the modified CIO method, and Luke now sleeps an average of 10.5 hours a night plus two naps without crying or waking up for us. I totally struggled with guilt over it until I read how sleeping alone is a skill that your baby needs to learn - and that babies who sleep poorly have poor sleep habits throughout their lives. That helped me to put it in perspective. Good luck with whatever you choose! :)

CraftGirlAlli said...

Every baby is different. I could never do the cry it out method either. I tried, but always caved in. Mine never slept through the night. Still doesn't occassionaly and he's 3! I know some are against it, but others aren't...and I'm one thats not...but what worked best for us was co-sleeping. Once we started doing that, he would only wake 2-3 times a week. Now, breaking the habit of co-sleeping is what's hard. We have the toddler bed in our room now working on getting him out of our bed into his. Once he's doing that, we'll move the bed into his room and see how that goes. But each baby is different, each family is different. You'll figure out what works best for you and do that!

John, Jessica and Emma said...

Hey!! First of all he is such a cutie!!! I LOVE seeing your pics and wish I kept up better with my blog... I take pictures but they never seem to get from the camera or computer to the blog... oh well.

I just wanted to let you know that we let Emma cry it out when she was little... I know my mom thought I was the WORST parent in the world, but I had to go back to work and could not go with no sleep. I will tell you though she has slept through the night since she was six weeks old. We had a few rough nights, but any more she doesn't cry more than a minute or two and by cry I mean a little wimper, if that. She usually only crys when she is OVERLY tired. She tends to sleep 7:00pm-6:00am. I will tell you no matter what you chose do not allow other people to make you feel bad. It will not hurt him to let him CIO and it will not hurt him to not let him. Either way may cause sleep deprevation depending on you :).... You have to find what works for you and your family. I will tell you even now, Emma only doesn't sleep through the night when she is at my mothers (who has a crib for her too, so its not a comfort thing) because she knows my mom will let her come in bed with her. Either that or she is sick/teething... but I usually give her a popsicle (shes two and they are no sugar added all natural :) )... some cuddle time with mom, then she walks into bed, crawls in and is out.... hope you find what works best!!

John, Jessica and Emma said...

Hey! It has helped Emma sleep soooo much better!! We have a friend who has a son that was born one month older than Emma and he still does not sleep through the night :( Plus she has a three month old that is doing the same thing! Anyway, to answer your question, I did always lay her down when I went back in. I would lay her down, stick her paci back in, cover her, pat her back and walk out. Hope it helps!