One Year Ago Today

It is hard to believe that a whole year has pasted since i sat on the edge of the bathtub holding that test in my hands with thoughts of utter amazement. It does not feel like i have gone through a whole pregnancy, given birth, and witnessed my child grow and change so much. It truly is amazing how different your life can be in such a short amount of time. One year ago today i wrote this post to who we now know of as Liam.

January 16, 2009

Dear Baby P (Liam or Lucy),

This morning my dreams came true. This morning I found out that you were on your way! I could not imagine how excited I would be when I finally found out that your father and I were expecting. If there is a word larger than excitement that is what I felt this morning when I saw two lines!!

Here is the extended version of the whole weekend…. I was due to get my “monthly cycle” on Friday the 13th (dun dun dun) so Friday came and Friday went. Saturday morning I has some signs that make me think “ok, here is comes the hope is over” but as the day went on nothing happened except the slight nausea that I had been feeling. Saturday night (Valentines Day) I decided to take a test, just in case, so that I could tell your dad if by chance a miracle had happened. The test was negative and I was devastated. I would like to take this time to acknowledge my behavior and apologize to your father for my foul mood that night.

The next day ,Presidents Day , when I woke up it was still no where to be found and I wondered; so I decided to test. I did not want to sit in the bathroom, staring at the test only to have my eyes play tricks on me so I put in on the tub ledge and went to play with Nigel for a few minutes. When I came back in I could hardly believe what I saw….two lines… a positive test…. WOW! I started shaking and crying in excitement, I could hardly contain myself. Then began the longest day of my life. I was working second shift and would not get out of work until 8:30. I couldn’t believe I would have to go almost 12 hours holding back this information. So I faked a migraine and left work at 5 so I could go home and tell your dad. I told him “I have a surprise for you… I took a test today and…” he said “it was positive?” “ and I said YES!” then we hugged and kissed to celebrate the exciting news! That evening we read the first chapter in his The Expectant Father book.

Baby P, I am so excited for your arrival. I cannot wait until the day that I can look into your eyes and know the love that you were created from and that your father and I have for you. I am thrilled that you will be here by Christmas …. Halloween and Thanksgiving!!!!

Love, Your Mommy