Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Kate my visual link to PA
Kate from Jon and Kate plus 8 is here in Indy today at the Indiana Home Show. I was so upset that i had to work and that she was only making a one day appearance during the week. If i met Kate i would want to tell her that i love her show because it makes me feel like i am at home... no i do not have 8 kids or brothers and sisters...but that i am a PA transplant and all of the place they go i have been like Ikea where more than half the furniture in our house was purchased, the crayola factory, Hershey, and Giant (grocery store)---i also get to see mountains!!!!! I was so happy to learn that when they moved into their new house that is was still in PA--so now they must keep filming so i can keep watching :-)
Next month...
I am giving up.....no temp taking, no charting, no observing--just fun and blogging of course :-)
So Alex's family is coming to visit March 3 and i feel like i have loads to do before then to get ready! I am always uneasy when Alex mom visits because she has the ability to divide herself into three people at least to keep their house immaculate all the time, make dinner every single night, and work two jobs...... i have a hard time working one job, making dinner a few times a week, and keeping the house clean whoa...I also feel like since the Christmas decorations have come down everything feels so sparse and half our normal decorations have found other spots in the house that i like them better in. Point being it feels so bare.
Here are the things that i would love to do before they come: table top decorations or arrangements for shoe cubby and console table, something on the wall above the tv (maybe a vinyl quote), get a bakers rack for the kitchen and organize my cookbooks, get frames for two pictures and hang them, restuff the pillows downstairs or get new ones, redecorate the green bathroom and get something for on the wall in the chocolate bathroom, and touch up the paint! Plus clean like crazy and plan a menu and events for the week.
So Alex's family is coming to visit March 3 and i feel like i have loads to do before then to get ready! I am always uneasy when Alex mom visits because she has the ability to divide herself into three people at least to keep their house immaculate all the time, make dinner every single night, and work two jobs...... i have a hard time working one job, making dinner a few times a week, and keeping the house clean whoa...I also feel like since the Christmas decorations have come down everything feels so sparse and half our normal decorations have found other spots in the house that i like them better in. Point being it feels so bare.
Here are the things that i would love to do before they come: table top decorations or arrangements for shoe cubby and console table, something on the wall above the tv (maybe a vinyl quote), get a bakers rack for the kitchen and organize my cookbooks, get frames for two pictures and hang them, restuff the pillows downstairs or get new ones, redecorate the green bathroom and get something for on the wall in the chocolate bathroom, and touch up the paint! Plus clean like crazy and plan a menu and events for the week.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
One of those days
were everyone is driving me crazy ........ and i feel like i OD of caffeine or i am on a continues drop on a roller coaster, or 5,000 butterflies are in my stomach (in a bad way), or i am having sever social anxiety ......ooooh i just want this day to be over and this feeling to STOP! I am avoiding social interaction at all cost because it just makes me more aggravated (wow am i bitter today for no good reason).
I hope i wake up on the right side of the best tomorrow and can sit up without pain .... thanks to shoveling the driveway yesterday i cannot turn or sit without support today...darn heavy snow!
I hope i wake up on the right side of the best tomorrow and can sit up without pain .... thanks to shoveling the driveway yesterday i cannot turn or sit without support today...darn heavy snow!
Using this outlet to let it all out
I am stressed out and worried and i have only been awake for 30 minutes....... not a good sign for the rest of the day!
So today is CD14 ... ovulation day.... except it is not looking that way. My CM is still fairy dry, OPK negative yesterday. Last month my temperature had increased by CD 14 and this month it is a degree lower than last month on this day (one degree is significant in the TTC world).
Way before we started trying i had this gut instinct that something was wrong with me and that conceiving would be much harder than everyone thought for us. Obviously these gut instincts were tied to me observing my body every single month for the past few years. It just never seemed right because it was off from what the normal should be and even though every women's normal is different i still felt as though it was too abnormal.
I realize that i should made a doctors appointment to make sure everything is ok and be able to fix anything that isn't ok but i have two reasons for putting it off. One is that they scare me to death..... and two is that i would want to go tomorrow not in a few weeks, that waiting would drive me crazy beyond belief.
So today is CD14 ... ovulation day.... except it is not looking that way. My CM is still fairy dry, OPK negative yesterday. Last month my temperature had increased by CD 14 and this month it is a degree lower than last month on this day (one degree is significant in the TTC world).
Way before we started trying i had this gut instinct that something was wrong with me and that conceiving would be much harder than everyone thought for us. Obviously these gut instincts were tied to me observing my body every single month for the past few years. It just never seemed right because it was off from what the normal should be and even though every women's normal is different i still felt as though it was too abnormal.
I realize that i should made a doctors appointment to make sure everything is ok and be able to fix anything that isn't ok but i have two reasons for putting it off. One is that they scare me to death..... and two is that i would want to go tomorrow not in a few weeks, that waiting would drive me crazy beyond belief.
| Quote: | Hope is always available to us. When we feel defeated, we need only take a deep breath and say, "Yes," and hope will reappear. |
| Author: | Monroe Forester |
| Source: | Body, Mind and Spirit |
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Uneasy day in the TTC department
::TMI::
I am trying so so so so hard to stay positive, relaxed, and keeping in the mindset of it will happen when it is suppose to happen BUT it is so hard because when it comes down to it i cannot suppress the feeling of i want it to happen now!! I have been tracking my temperature every morning and paying attention to CM changes. This month i bought a OPK (ovulation perdition tests) because i wanted reassurance that the process was actually occurring. Why? because i do not see the significantly important EWCM (egg white fluid) that is present during ovulation. When i was younger i clearly remember it but have not experienced it in over four-five years now. Last month i saw in increase in watery CM around CD 12-16. Last month my temperature tracking was not as religious as it has been this month but at CD14 my temperature had risen above the coverline.
So...why am i uneasy today because i started taking the OPK tests on Monday with the notion that i should get a positive on Wednesday because ovulation should occur Thursday well today is Wednesday and the test was negative which means that i will not ovulate within the next 12-48 hours. I also have had realativly dry CM which is very odd for me at this stage in my cycle and the symtom that i making me the most concerned.
I was looking into the sperm frieldy lubricant called preseed today. It is said to mock the consistancy of EWCM to help cenception occur. They stock it in a drug store on the NE side of Indy. I am debating on driving up there and getting some but i am not sure. I kind of want to stick this cycle out and see if the increase in BD-ing and laying down after our dates will be enough to do it and then look into preseed if we are back in this position again next month. I really hope that we arn't, obviously. I really do not know what else to do to increase my changes this month. I also look musenix this morning which is suppose to help thin CM...we will see.
Alex's family is coming to visit March 3rd and i really really hope that we have exciting news to tell them, i am praying :-)
I am trying so so so so hard to stay positive, relaxed, and keeping in the mindset of it will happen when it is suppose to happen BUT it is so hard because when it comes down to it i cannot suppress the feeling of i want it to happen now!! I have been tracking my temperature every morning and paying attention to CM changes. This month i bought a OPK (ovulation perdition tests) because i wanted reassurance that the process was actually occurring. Why? because i do not see the significantly important EWCM (egg white fluid) that is present during ovulation. When i was younger i clearly remember it but have not experienced it in over four-five years now. Last month i saw in increase in watery CM around CD 12-16. Last month my temperature tracking was not as religious as it has been this month but at CD14 my temperature had risen above the coverline.
So...why am i uneasy today because i started taking the OPK tests on Monday with the notion that i should get a positive on Wednesday because ovulation should occur Thursday well today is Wednesday and the test was negative which means that i will not ovulate within the next 12-48 hours. I also have had realativly dry CM which is very odd for me at this stage in my cycle and the symtom that i making me the most concerned.
I was looking into the sperm frieldy lubricant called preseed today. It is said to mock the consistancy of EWCM to help cenception occur. They stock it in a drug store on the NE side of Indy. I am debating on driving up there and getting some but i am not sure. I kind of want to stick this cycle out and see if the increase in BD-ing and laying down after our dates will be enough to do it and then look into preseed if we are back in this position again next month. I really hope that we arn't, obviously. I really do not know what else to do to increase my changes this month. I also look musenix this morning which is suppose to help thin CM...we will see.
Alex's family is coming to visit March 3rd and i really really hope that we have exciting news to tell them, i am praying :-)
Southern Bell
I am always jealous of girls who grew up in the south. I love the idea of pearls, cute dresses, southern accents, sweet demeanor, beautiful southern plantations, sweet tea, and wrap around porches. In my next life i want to be a southern belle.
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