Update

I got the best birthday present ever ... the spotting has stopped!!! Oh the relief i am feeling and sense of optimal hope. I went to the doctors again yesterday to have more blood draw to check my hcG levels. Last Thursday they were 200 which is in the normal range and by yesterday they should be somewhere over 1,000 if they doubled everyday like they should be, i should know by Wednesday or my next appointment which is next Thursday. Physically i am feeling great! My symptoms include: a few bouts of nausea, sore breasts, frequent urination!, and feeling physically exhausted by the end of the day ... all this from a baby the size of a lentil bean :-)

I really need to give props to Alex who has been absolutely amazing! He has picked up doing so much around the house and is taking such good care of me, i appreciate all he is doing so so so so much!!! I love you <3


An update to my update: As i sit at my desk at work and write this with my pants unbuttoned and half unzipped another one of my symptoms include bloating! Which i have never experienced before....it is not fun. My pants feel so tight when i sit down and leave an red indentation from the buttons, i need to find a solution to this one soon. ::shh:: i am also constipated which i have never experienced before this one is also awful! I have been trying to eat more fruits and vegetables, drink much more water, and eat an activia yogurt each day...hopefully it will get better.

Doctors Appointment Update

It has been an interesting last few days; so many emotions are being slammed together in my head that I almost feel numb to anything going on. I am so excited about being pregnant but I am so apprehensive and pessimistic that all is going well. The spotting has continued every other night since last Friday. On Monday when I got my first positive test at home. I had such hope that is would stop and I was fine all day on Monday then Tuesday morning when I woke up I noticed that it had started again over night, very light, but still there and seeing that color makes me panic. So I prayed and prayed and prayed some more than it would stop and inside my head I hear this voice that said “Sarah make a doctors appointment and it will stop” I am not sure if it was me saying that or someone else but I made an appointment right after that; and with my fear of that doctor making an appointment was a big deal and a big step for me. My appointment was for the next day, Wednesday, at 8:45 am. Tuesday was the longest day of my life! I just wanted it to be over so that I could go get checked out. So Wednesday comes and I go to the appointment and I get rescheduled because the doctor is delivering a baby……at least I got to talk to the nurse who was a big help and very nice but I still had to wait until the next day, Thursday, to go back. Wednesday evening I noticed the spotting had started again and I really panicked this time; I just want it to stop and everything to go well……. Wednesday night I had by first, I assume of many, emotional breakdowns. The truth is I don’t feel like I deserve this baby and I feel like it is going to be taken away from me because of that. That is my true feelings and why I am being so pessimistic about this situation. I pray that God forgives me for the mistakes I’ve make, I pray that I am not punished and that I have hurt long enough, I pray that things turn around and our baby is healthy and growing stronger each day.

So I finally went to my appointment today, I never thought I’d be excited to be there hehe. I had to do a urine test first, which I might add was extremely difficult to do after I had just gone at home, but none the less I got some out and got a positive test result :-) which I now possess as a souvenir/memorabilia. After that the nurse told me she was ready for me. I need to note that I already love this woman! She has been so kind to me the two times I have been there so far and seems so concerned and I so personable, she makes me feel as though I am a relative of hers, I am very excited that I will get to see her more often. So she took me back into the room and took my BP which was surprisingly normal, I normally have a BP of about 140-60 at the doctor because I panic. She then asked me some basic questions and told me the doctor would be in to talk with me shortly. Dr. Richardson came in and I instantly felt relived he seemed so nice and kind and seemed to have a similar personality as me. We talked a bit and then he asked me to get into a gown while he left the room. While a was getting changed I hear a voice in the hall which I swore sounded like Erin. The next thing I know the doctor sticks his head in the room and says to me “Erin is in the next room, she is in labor, she wants to know if she can stick her head it” OMG!!! I told him yes or course! I was so happy that I was able to see her and wish her well!!! It is an ironic and memorably story I hope neither of us forgets, my first appointment and her last :-) So the doctor and his assistant come in for my exam. The internal was just as uncomfortable as I remembered it to be but not that bad, I guess. They did an internal ultrasound and there was nothing much to see because it was so early. He said that my lining was thickening just like it should and he may have saw the beginning of the yolk sack formation but was not sure. Everything else anatomy wise looked great! Phew…. He explained to me that spotting is very common and it make be that my cervix is soft and with the increased blood flow to the cervix may be causing the spotting, which would be good because it is outside of where the pregnancy is. I am hoping and praying this is what is causing it!! I then had a full OB panel of blood draw and I have to go back on Monday to have it done again to make sure my hormones are increasing as they should. I now have all weekend and in all reality until next Wednesday to find out if the hormones are increasing. I then have a follow up ultrasound in two week to see if we can find the yolk sak, please let us find it :-) My appointment is the morning that Alex’s mom comes to visit, I really hope we have good news to share. The doctor warned me that I may have some spotting this afternoon because of the exam and I am relived and surprised that I have not experienced any. I also left with a goody bag of educational items and books which i can't wait to go home a read tonight!!!


“God is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine” Ephesians 3:20

“I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked him” 1 Samuel 1:25

Baby P

Jauary 16, 2009

Dear Baby P (Liam or Lucy),

This morning my dreams came true. This morning I found out that you were on your way! I could not imagine how excited I would be when I finally found out that your father and I were expecting. If there is a word larger than excitement that is what I felt this morning when I saw two lines!!

Here is the extended version of the whole weekend…. I was due to get my “monthly cycle” on Friday the 13th (dun dun dun) so Friday came and Friday went. Saturday morning I has some signs that make me think “ok, here is comes the hope is over” but as the day went on nothing happened except the slight nausea that I had been feeling. Saturday night (Valentines Day) I decided to take a test, just in case, so that I could tell your dad if by chance a miracle had happened. The test was negative and I was devastated. I would like to take this time to acknowledge my behavior and apologize to your father for my foul mood that night.

The next day ,Presidents Day , when I woke up it was still no where to be found and I wondered; so I decided to test. I did not want to sit in the bathroom, staring at the test only to have my eyes play tricks on me so I put in on the tub ledge and went to play with Nigel for a few minutes. When I came back in I could hardly believe what I saw….two lines… a positive test…. WOW! I started shaking and crying in excitement, I could hardly contain myself. Then began the longest day of my life. I was working second shift and would not get out of work until 8:30. I couldn’t believe I would have to go almost 12 hours holding back this information. So I faked a migraine and left work at 5 so I could go home and tell your dad. I told him “I have a surprise for you… I took a test today and…” he said “it was positive?” “ and I said YES!” then we hugged and kissed to celebrate the exciting news! That evening we read the first chapter in his The Expectant Father book.

Baby P, I am so excited for your arrival. I cannot wait until the day that I can look into your eyes and know the love that you were created from and that your father and I have for you. I am thrilled that you will be here by Christmas …. Halloween and Thanksgiving!!!!

Love, Your Mommy

Update

I am officially one day late and constantly sightly nauseous....they is some hope :-) I will keep you posted!

today

John Wesley once said "Though we may not think alike, may we not all love alike?

This is why i love being a Methodist and why i hate talking about religion at work :-)

Today

"Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry"

A quote

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

~Sir Winston Churchill

Kate my visual link to PA

Kate from Jon and Kate plus 8 is here in Indy today at the Indiana Home Show. I was so upset that i had to work and that she was only making a one day appearance during the week. If i met Kate i would want to tell her that i love her show because it makes me feel like i am at home... no i do not have 8 kids or brothers and sisters...but that i am a PA transplant and all of the place they go i have been like Ikea where more than half the furniture in our house was purchased, the crayola factory, Hershey, and Giant (grocery store)---i also get to see mountains!!!!! I was so happy to learn that when they moved into their new house that is was still in PA--so now they must keep filming so i can keep watching :-)

Next month...

I am giving up.....no temp taking, no charting, no observing--just fun and blogging of course :-)

So Alex's family is coming to visit March 3 and i feel like i have loads to do before then to get ready! I am always uneasy when Alex mom visits because she has the ability to divide herself into three people at least to keep their house immaculate all the time, make dinner every single night, and work two jobs...... i have a hard time working one job, making dinner a few times a week, and keeping the house clean whoa...I also feel like since the Christmas decorations have come down everything feels so sparse and half our normal decorations have found other spots in the house that i like them better in. Point being it feels so bare.

Here are the things that i would love to do before they come: table top decorations or arrangements for shoe cubby and console table, something on the wall above the tv (maybe a vinyl quote), get a bakers rack for the kitchen and organize my cookbooks, get frames for two pictures and hang them, restuff the pillows downstairs or get new ones, redecorate the green bathroom and get something for on the wall in the chocolate bathroom, and touch up the paint! Plus clean like crazy and plan a menu and events for the week.